Bullying

Being bullied can make you feel powerless, but there are ways for you to take control of the situation.

What is bullying?

Bullying is when someone repeatedly attacks a person who has less power, often without being provoked. It can happen anywhere, including at university, at work, in social situations and online.

Bullying may be:

• overt, such as physical intimidation, humiliation and verbal threats
• subtle, like passive-aggressive behaviour, spreading rumours or excluding someone.

Each act may seem minor on its own. But because bullying is repeated and often personal, people who are bullied may feel alone, helpless and humiliated.

Over time, people who are bullied may experience more severe and long-lasting problems, such as:

• depression
• substance abuse
• reduced motivation
• loneliness
• low self-esteem.

In extreme cases, someone who's been bullied may even question their will to live. It's vital to stop bullying at an early stage to prevent long-term harm.

Why me?

Bullies often single out people they perceive as easy targets or who they can bully without consequences from other people. They may pick on someone they see as being different in some way, or who seems to have less social support. Sometimes, you may just be unlucky to be there when they want to demonstrate their power over someone.

Bullies frequently want to take aggressive action. They often come from a background where aggressive behaviour is used to assert control or power, to resolve perceived conflict, or simply for entertainment.

What you can do

If you're being bullied it can be hard to feel like you can change the situation, but you can take action.

Tell someone

Try to identify at least one person who can provide advice or take action, such as a UQ Discrimination and Harassment Officer, course coordinator, lawyer or police officer, and let them know about your situation.

In some cases, telling someone may be enough to stop the bullying. Sometimes the situation may not always improve straight away (it may even get worse temporarily), but if you tell someone, this puts the issue out in the open and may help instigate future action.

Assert yourself

Being assertive doesn't mean being aggressive or attacking back. People who display self-confidence, express themselves clearly, and who take action are less likely to be bullied.

You can practise asserting yourself by:

• calmly and clearly telling family or friends your thoughts or ideas
• approaching new situations with confidence
• openly pursuing your interests and goals.

Build your self-esteem

If you feel good about yourself, you unconsciously demonstrate assertiveness and self-confidence. This makes you less likely to to be a target of bullying. If you have high self-esteem, you'll also have greater resilience to the effects of bullying.

You can boost your self-esteem by:

• remembering (and even writing down) reasons that you are a good person
• thinking about positive comments you've received from people
• identifying the qualities you admire in other people and recognising them in yourself
• taking part in activities that allow you to achieve and feel good about yourself.

Develop your support networks

A supportive peer network or close friend can:

• reduce the likelihood that you will be a target of bullying
• provide support in difficult times
• make life more positive overall.

Aim to find people you can talk openly to and share positive experiences with. You might already know someone, or you can try meeting new people through interest groups, classes, church, sport or work.

Consider your options

If you've tried some strategies but you feel that your situation hasn't improved, or if it has become too dangerous, it may be worth changing your situation. This could include blocking the bully's email or phone number, or even changing your own contact details or location.

Before you make changes, make sure you aren't depriving yourself of opportunities or future achievements. It can help to:

• make a list of possible options, including the option of staying, and identify pros and cons for each
• ask for advice from other people before you make any final decisions.

Focus on your future

Bullying is often short-term and confined to specific life contexts. Make sure you remember to focus on your future and to pursue your goals.